It might not make sense to anyone but me.

Well another sleepless night…. I’m not sure why I can’t sleep… possibly because I just got done taking medicine that used to make me tired, or because by back hurts? idk.

Today was such a weird day… It all hit me today that I am almost done with college.  It’s so weird because in h.s. I would always have people tell me “it’s the best four years of your life” and then when I was in it I didn’t really like it that much. My freshman and junior years were great but other than that it pretty much sucked… too much drama!  Then once you’re in hs people say how college is “the best four years of your life” and well I  think it has been.  I feel like I have changed so much… even just the course of the past year I think I’ve changed and grown for the better.  Sure plenty of bad things happened but I think that’s what makes life that much better… (in a weird way)  If I never would have gotten my heart broken twice awfully, I wouldn’t appreciate people as much as I do now.  I think college is the biggest growing up in my life… not high school. I mean yah I grew up a lot in hs.. don’t get me wrong, but in a different way.  I think you truly find out who you’re life long friends are.  ”These are the days of our lives”… I don’t even know where’d I’d be without my close friends.  Sure some of them I don’t get to see as much as I wish…. but it all works out in the end..

I am such a strong believer in “everything happens for a reason”… I just can’t imagine being married/engaged/having a kid right now… I guess every1 my age is in a different part in their life, but I just feel like we’re so young with so much ahead of us… so much to learn.  I just can’t imagine marrying any1 that I have dated… sure maybe at the time I thought I’d want them for life… but shit I don’t even know where I will be this summer, yet for the rest of my life… I’m just really sick of when people change their lives for other people… well i should say life plan…. sure alter your plan, or change it some, but don’t throw things away and shut people out of your life or make them feel not important anymore, just because you’re getting married.

Miami- Going in April with 5 friends… I honestly think this is going to be one of the best trips of my life…. most memorable…  I was just thinking today about my friends that are getting married and how they will never experience going on trips like this with just a group of friends… I wouldn’t want to miss an experience like this for anything.  I’m so glad I don’t have a boyfriend or any guy in my life really…  For the first time in my life I can honestly say I love being on my own… I hate when people say “alone” or put being single as a negative… Girls especially I think need to learn how to live on their own… be able to take care of themselves, and live their lives.  Two of my best friends don’t have boyfriends and I absolutely love going out with them, because they don’t even worry about guys when we go out and we always have a blast. I love not answering to anyone or having to worry about any guy.  It’s so nice to be free.. My sister told me at the beginning of the school year that I should live my Senior year as single… that is the best idea. I had a bf at the beginning and he would always want to talk to me and would text/call me all day long and it was so hard to get things done… and then he broke up with me… good thing! At first I was devastated… but now I’m so glad.

Regrets- I live my life with absolutely NO regrets.. Sure I can look back and say ohhh maybe I wouldn’t have said that or maybe I shouldn’t have done this… well I can’t change things in the past… they just help you grow and they help me make who I am today.. I know I’ve made plenty of mistakes… and so have my friends.. but as long as 1 person learned from the experience then it was worth it I think.

The weekend~ So excited… Get to see one of my besties that I haven’t seen in like a month!  Then hanging out with some friends and family. ohh and not to mention going to the dentist twice… and hopefully getting to go into my old work to visit everyone.

I just can’t believe I’m going to start slowly moving stuff back to my parents house… hopefully I will sell my house quick or get a great job and won’t live there very long.. not that I mind living there or anything… it’s just hard when I’m used to living on my own for the past 3 years. hmm. and I realllly hope to move to Florida once one of my best friends is done with school in December.  Can’t wait!

I really can’t believe it’s 3:17 and I’m still awake when I have to be up in a few hours… I’m going to need some energy drinks tomorrow/ coffee.